I need not worry. About anything. These are the friends to tell me peruse healthy pursuits, and give me critical advice. They give me a text just asking about me. They take away something to just help me relax and just play with life until I can stand on my own again. They are so clever it hurts.
They are the kind to just hangout with me and do nothing. To sit around a fire or at a park to just spend time with me. They are the kind to write me a letter in the hospital. They are the kind I could never leave. So thanks assholes I'm stuck in this grey county painted by lovely faces.
You guys make me thankful to just be alive. I don't ever wanna get un-crazy now, thanks. I never felt like this. Like I'm actually loved and accepted. My family says it, but you guys can show it in unpredictable ways. I need not fear, I just wish I could reward you with how you make me feel. Or at least I tried. I think I hide my crazy well these days. It still slips out, but It's going away. Maybe it's just creativity. Fuck if I know.
I'm still concerned about why I broke. Why?
Why anything?
Time to just deal with the fallout, not look to the past for answers. Not when the present is the real gift.
Yes readers, you dying readers. I had a psychotic episode. I was delusional. I saw signs from god. I made every connection. I was the one. I thought I was the second coming of Jesus. All the metaphors were there. If only you could have entered my brain during my 'sundering' as I call it.
Now but one is just a myth. It was about his friends. Never about the one. It's about us all. I need you.
Al1 or alone. It's just how you see that 1.
(Why don't we celebrate the actual authors of the bible, all the disciples. They did the hard work in my opinion. They supported a friend.)
