Wow can these people put down beer. Who am I to judge, I actually had a single Irish beer today. Guess that makes me proud of my heritage. Ha.
They sit around and discuss what happened last holiday we drank, and it's just an endless cycle of doing this. Discussing other discussions. No wonder I'm back in here. Was a good single fucking beer. Made me sleepy, yet they go just fine. Oh my family, at least I was given the same amount of attention, as normal. Normal is a double edged sword it seems. Ironic no one sees me as normal.
So on they drink and be merry, when all I wanna do is snuggle with a honey. What's wrong with me. And I that starved. How is it that none of my other friends want this. Or not even try for this. I love them, they just confuse me. Maybe they just never felt like I felt. That feeling deep down. It's an addiction you know. And I'm the biggest junkie I know.
So my family sits drinking to enjoy life and of course I can't. And I'm the bi-polar one. Dumb meds.
Sometimes I feel like no one gets me. A green family. Irish and oblivious to emotion. Mom was happy I was pissed off and swore at my brother seriously, because it was who-I-was. Or am. I have no clue. I'm just gonna do what I wanna do and feel like normal. Just make sure I don't steal anything. Ha.
I feel like I'm finally figuring out who I really am. I'm a fucking writer. It's who I was born to be. I carry a journal kind of like how tourists carry camera. Never know what's gonna inspire me. And when. It brings me joy. And guess what, girls love poetry.
So fuck them. This is who I am. I'm not judging you, I never have. It's just how you feel I view you, family. Green like spring. Like the Irish, like the cash that flows and make you happy.
Love makes me happy, and that's why your green.
I love my family to death. They just won't ever understand me.
And I'm every color. No longer clear and empty. I'm just alive and for some that's good enough.
